Don’t get us wrong we like Steeler fans like one of our own “Cheese” and have spent time getting drunk in the local Steelers bar in town Rudy’s, but since they have have invaded our hometown of Tampa Bay we have seen many of these types roaming our streets. Here is a breakdown by Chris Mottram of the The Sporting Blog.
The Prototype Steelers Fan
1. Backwards Steelers hat. Not only is this more intimidating, but Ben Roethlisberger wears his hats in this fashion, so it must be cool. (Ed. note: it isn’t.)
2. Incredibly corny, yet timely novelty t-shirt. Alternate shirt for game day: “On the Road to Sixburgh”.
3. Duffle bag from a previous Super Bowl, thus letting everyone know that this ain’t his first rodeo.
4. Colored, reflective sunglasses protecting his eyes from giving any clues about his motives. Hint: They likely aren’t friendly. Or legal.
5. Gold chain, just to let you know that he’s got it like that.
6. Superman tat. Why in the world would this guy feel the need to have a Superman logo on this leg? Ask your mom, bro — she knows why.
7. Bluetooth. Because one hand is reserved for a Terrible Towel and the other an IC Light.
8. Pencil-thin chinstrap. Much like how the male gorilla’s back hair is silver, this strap of facial hair is used to distinguish the male Steelers fan from the female. Despite this bit of brilliant evolution, there is still oftentimes confusion.
9. Steelers tat. This guy loves the Steelers for life and now NO ONE CAN DOUBT THIS!
10. Matching shorts and shoes. Because you gotta look good out there when you’re begging for autographs, am I right, ladies?
Give the blog Mondesishouse the credit for this one. They have created the strangest Steelers customized product, the modern day terrible towel, Vince’s Unofficial Terrible Sham Wow! We love the pic of Vince and the line: Take it from Vince, “You’re gonna to spill your beer anyway”
and for a bonus here is a reversal of the above a infomercial for the actual Terrible Towel:
Here is an actual story that even we can’t make up:
A 44 year old Russian man, Alexander Kirilov, was drinking with his friends when he got this sick idea of raping a raccoon. The raccoon fought back and bit off a part of his penis.
Mr Kirilov told stunned surgeons in Moscow: “When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun.”
Surgeons are now trying to restore his “manhood” as best as they can. One of his drinking buddies said:
“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off. That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with.”
It’s Gasparilla time again here in Tampa Bay, and for years the Drunk Krewe hit up Bayshore Blvd. to interview all the college drunks down there. Add the drunk mascot Boozie the Bear and a couple beer funnels and you got yourself a good time.
For all of those not in the know, the Gasparilla Pirate Festival and Pirate invasion dates back to 1904 and is based on the legend of the pirate Jose Gaspar. Members of the Tampa business elite put on an “invasion” of their city based on the increasingly popular figure of Gasparilla. Under the guise of “Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla“, an organization modeled after the New Orleans Mardi Gras parade krewes, the invaders donned pirate costumes and rode through the streets on horseback. The event was a hit, and the Krewe planned an even more elaborate spectacle the next year, when all 60 of Tampa’s cars were paraded through downtown. Now the invasion is led by the pirate parade float. The Gasparilla Pirate Festival has been celebrated every year since then, with only two lapses, and today, over 400,000 attend the event, which contributes over $20 million to the local economy.The Gasparilla Pirate Festival consists of three street parades, a children’s parade, an adult day parade and an adults-only night parade. It should also be noted that many krewes raise money for charitable events throughout the year as well in addition to participation in the parades.
Daler Mehndi’s classic became an internet phenomenon, and it has been a favorite of ours for years. Daler has some bad ass dance moves and not only dancing by himself but dancing with himself, 4x to be accurate. This video is the greatest and the song gets stuck in your head!
Once again another rare Hungarian Star Wars movie poster has been put up for sale on eBay, they usually go for around $700 a piece. But when you see this poster it really has you saying WTF? Darth Vader’s helmet looks like the front end of a mack truck with R2D2’s dome as shoulder armor. And then there is the dragon with a sword… yeah a dragon with a freakin’ sword! Got to think this artist never saw the movie, and only had a couple movie stills to create this.
Or just possibly they watched the Turkish Star Wars seen below, where they butchered Star Wars with Battlestar Galactica and added Indiana Jones music. Watching a middle age “Luke Skywalker” using the force by jumping around like a damn bunny ripping the heads off of bad costumed creatures then karate chopping “Darth Vader” in half at the end, once again WTF!
We have all turned on the Spanish channel and watched some Lucha Libre Mexican Wrestling before, perhaps for the bizarre costumes, midgets or like this guy the absolutely insane wrestling moves. This move doesn’t even look humanly possible. There is also an impressive bonus move after he jumps out of the ring.
This man either has a lot of guts, or an insatiable love for the grand slam at Denny’s. We have seen many head tattoos in our day, but this one is great.
Give him extra credit for the skull on the back of his head too.
For all of you that ever sat at home fantasizing about the old lady on “Murder She Wrote” wearing nothing but a towel, rubbing herself down with oil, smoking a cigarette, naked in a bathtub and talking about post-menopausal sex… here is our present to you!
Nobody makes us not want to buy a product like this tool, Vince Offer. With his cheesy flea market headpiece and lines like “You know the Germans always make good stuff” and “We can’t do this all day ” you laugh at the ad because you can tell he is giving you a line of shit. We can only imagine the suckers that buy these products.
And don’t even get us started on the Slap Chop with his line “You’re gonna love my nuts”
