The History of the World.. . according to “Them”
I know in these times we are not allowed to judge, but here is the history of the world according to the a couple of those religions that we don’t quite understand. Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons and our hometown favorites the Scientologists.
3. Jehovah’s Witnesses
First let’s start with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, this one is pretty odd, especially when according to them we should already be dead as of 1914, but alas as most failed prophecy doctrine was changed when it did not come true. But don’t underestimate it, one day Jesus/Michael will blow up the earth saving only the 144,000 Witnesses!
Remember, this is what Michael Jackson and his family believe.
2. The Mormons
Mormons are a little nuttier pretty much saying we are all descendants of aliens from different planets that came here as gods only to take multiple wives, with Jesus resurrecting in the Americas, convincing the Indians to battle the “Nephites“ and telling us all other religions are wrong. Oh not to mention their idea of being “Cursed” with black skin.
1. The Scientologists
OK folks, here is the cream of the crop of nuttyness. The Scientologists and their good friend Xenu the alien that rounded up aliens, froze them, put them in boxes, shipped them off in DC-8’s err wait space ships that looked like DC-8 but with rocket engines, and dumped them in volcanoes and dropped hydrogen bombs inside. Then when the “souls” were blown into the air, they were caught by a big electronic ribbon. After being collected they were given implants and forced sit in a 3D movie theater and watch brainwashing movies about religion. Then the souls were let loose to attach themselves to men.
And we thought the Christians, Jewish folks, and Muslims could be a little crazy at times!
February 10 2009 08:44 am | Comedy Silver
April 15th, 2010 at 1:19 pm
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First let’s start with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, this one is pretty odd, especially when […….